I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
In America we eat man semen.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
