You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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