We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
