I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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