I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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