i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
