I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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