dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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