do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
