watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
