i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
