can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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