She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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