He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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