I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
