All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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