Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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