omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
