He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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