I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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