Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
