I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
