Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
