so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
