I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
