I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize