Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
