Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize