Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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