youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
