Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
