dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
