i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
