Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The adults are the big ones right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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