Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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