what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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