You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
