So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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