I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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