There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
