Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
