When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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