I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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