I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
