i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
