HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
