dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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