Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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