Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
