I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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