Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
