Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
