I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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