what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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