maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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