I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
