Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
