He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
