I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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