we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
