Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and she was petting her beer can
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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