You're my little dorito
youre lurking in front of me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
